It is important to consider these issues in relation to what some people refer to as "the human condition." By this I mean:
* All human beings suffer painful experiences, and some of these occur in childhood.
* All caregivers of children are sometimes unable to protect them from painful experiences.
* We all need love and support to deal with the effects of painful experiences.
* Everyone must find ways to cope with the emotions generated by painful experiences - whether or not we get love and support from others.
* Many coping or self-regulation strategies work in some ways, but also limit people in other ways. For example:
o Ignoring painful feelings may reduce one's conscious experience of them. But it also prevents one from learning how to manage them in smaller doses, let alone larger ones - which makes one vulnerable to alternating between feeling little or no emotions and being overwhelmed and unable to cope with them.
o Avoiding getting close to people and trying to hide all of one's pain and vulnerabilities may create a sense of safety. But this approach to relationships leads to a great deal of loneliness, prevents experiences and learning about developing true intimacy and trust, and makes one vulnerable to desperately and naively putting trust in the wrong people and being betrayed again.
o At the extreme, getting really drunk can block out painful memories and feelings, including the feeling of being disconnected from others - but cause lots of other problems and disconnections from people.
* Some people suffer more painful experiences than others, and abuse is one of many possible causes of extreme emotional pain (others include life-threatening illness, death of a loved one, physical disfigurement, etc.).
* Some people get more love and support from their families and friends than others, and families in which abuse occurs tend to provide less of the love and support needed to recover from abuse. But families in which abuse does not happen can also experience significant problems, and can make it hard for family members to deal with the inevitable painful experiences in life.
* Finally, because everyone needs caring relationships and love, emotional neglect can be more devastating than abuse, particularly in the earliest years of life. By Jim Hopper, Ph.D.
When I worked in KDM, Kampus Diakonia Modern, KDM is NGO for Childern and poor people. My first case to observe children and make a reporting, one day i have "a bad case" parents who their child we took to our NGO having bad treatment from their parents, this child came into our NGO, because he wants go back to school again. Their parents doesn't like what he have done, because this child could not longer earn money for their family. As the record: this child work as a singer at the public station,train and on the street. So it's very hard situation ya. May God help us all. yp
Tidak ada komentar:
Posting Komentar